To the Lady Seated in Section G, Row 13, Seat 2...

OK, so I promised myself that I'd rant about this incident here rather than at THB. Here we go.

Let's set the scene - last Saturday, my friend (wrapped in duct tape - don't ask) and I spent the third period in a couple of empty seats about 2/3 of the way up Section G at the JMSIA.

The Pep Band began playing "No Beer" and my friend and I started singing along. This is, of course, the infamous "other side" of the JMSIA, where most people (with a few notable exceptions) can't be bothered to get off their ass and make some noise. With such intelligent people as the lady I'm about to discuss seated over there, it's little wonder why they don't. She'd probably squawk if they so much as raised their arm to join in a "Sieve!" chant.

We got to the "Refs" verse, and by that point Campion had started going on his rampage of shitty ass calls against MTU, so my friend and I were singing it extra loud for his listening pleasure. All the while, this woman (who was probably between 40 and 50) was giving us a dirty look and I could tell she was going to say something if we started in on the "Sex" verse.

So sure enough, we start in with "In heaven there is no sex, that's why we use Brand X (latex!)" No sooner did my friend shout "Latex!" when she stretched across her husband, grabbed his arm, and (from what I could hear over the band) told him, "If you want to use that kind of language, go over with the band or the student section. There are kids over here!"

So, let's analyze the situation. You're objecting to the use of the words 'sex' and 'latex' around children. First of all, do you really think that the average person under the age of 12 has any clue what is implied by the word 'latex'? I think not. Secondly, even if we were to head over to the student section, don't you think your precious little children could still hear the Misfits and the band singing along from across the arena? The answer here is a resounding yes! So basically, this isn't about children at all, is it? This is about you being a prude and how you are somehow embarrassed or annoyed at having to sit next to a couple of loud people, isn't it? Congratulations lady, I've called your bluff.

If I may make a suggestion, you should've taken your kids to a high school game, an Ojibwa Eagles game, or even a Finlandia game. Any of those would be reasonably quiet and peaceful for you, and maybe they'll even host a nice, friendly ice cream social for everyone afterwards.

Of course, I was there to watch hockey and cheer for my team. So as much as I would've LOVED to have this little discussion with her, I knew where my priorities were. I was so mad, I actually didn't think until afterwards to ask if her name happened to be Judy Szyysyzkjdfjddkoski (or however that particular woman's last name was spelled), but I'm sure there are more 'other siders' like her anyway. Frankly, I wish they'd just leave us to our antics if they're so "offended".

I will say though, I was proud that the BS band that came over behind Mannino during the second period had the courage to use 'balls' during the S-H-A-V-E taunt instead of toeing the $uzanne line. Thank you.